You can tell us about domestic abuse in whatever way feels safest and most comfortable for you.
You can complete the self-referral form at the bottom of this page, or contact us using any of our other contact options.
If you're in immediate danger call 999. If you dial but but cannot speak, listen to the operator and, when prompted, press 55 to be connected to the police.
What is domestic abuse?
Anyone can experience domestic abuse, regardless of their gender, age, ethnicity, religion, sexuality or background.
Domestic abuse is not always physical. It can take many forms and can happen within a relationship or between family members.
It can include:
- physical or sexual abuse
- threatening or intimidating behaviour
- controlling or coercive behaviour
- emotional or psychological abuse
- economic abuse, such as controlling your money or stopping you from working
- online or technology-based abuse, such as monitoring your phone, messages or social media.
Under the Domestic Abuse Act 2021, domestic abuse can be a single incident or a pattern of behaviour between people aged 16 or over who are personally connected to each other.
Domestic abuse is never the fault of the person experiencing it.
How can I recognise domestic abuse?
Domestic abuse can look different for different people and you may not always be sure whether what you are experiencing is abuse.
You may be experiencing domestic abuse if a partner, ex-partner or family member:
- isolates you from friends or family
- threatens, frightens, humiliates or controls you
- controls your money or prevents you from accessing money
- stops you from working, studying or leaving your home
- monitors your phone, internet use, messages or social media
- repeatedly puts you down or makes you feel worthless
- hurts you or threatens to hurt you
- pressures or forces you into sex or sexual contact
- makes you feel that the abuse is your fault or that you are overreacting.
These are examples, not a complete list. Government guidance also recognises behaviours including coercive control, gaslighting, economic abuse, online abuse, threats and intimidation.
If something does not feel right in your relationship, you can ask for help. You do not need to wait for an emergency.
Keeping your browsing private
Phones, tablets and computers can keep a record of the websites you visit and things you search for.
If you think someone may be monitoring your device, be careful about deleting your browsing history or changing settings, as they may notice the changes. If you can, use a device they do not have access to, such as a trusted friend or family member's phone, to look for information or support.
Deleting your browsing history may not remove everything, particularly if your activity is saved to an online account or shared between devices. For advice on using technology safely, including how to manage your browsing history and other digital safety concerns, visit the Women’s Aid website.
Quick exit: If you need to leave this page quickly, use the Quick exit button at the top of the page. Remember that using the button will take you away from this page, but it will not delete it from your browsing history.
Getting support - your questions answered
I'm a Castles & Coasts resident, how do I report domestic abuse to you?
What happens after I tell you about domestic abuse?
We understand it can be difficult to talk about domestic abuse. When you contact us, we’ll listen to you, take what you tell us seriously and talk to you about the support you may need.
Our Safeguarding Team will handle your report sensitively and will talk to you about any immediate concerns for your safety.
We can arrange to speak with you confidentially at a time and in a way that is safe for you, either in person or over the phone. We’ll listen to what you want to happen and discuss the options available to you.
What support can you offer me?
The support we can offer will depend on your circumstances and what you need. This could include:
- making your home more secure if you want to stay there
- talking to you about your housing options and supporting you if you need to move
- treating repairs needed because of domestic abuse as urgent
- helping you with any concerns about your home or tenancy
- helping you get specialist support from organisations that can provide additional advice and help
- considering what action we can take against the person responsible for the abuse, where appropriate and in discussion with you.
Can I check whether someone has an abusive past?
If you are concerned that a new, former or existing partner has an abusive past you can ask the police to check under the Domestic Violence Disclosure Scheme (also known as ‘Clare’s Law’). This is your ‘right to ask’.
If records show that you may be at risk of domestic abuse, the police will consider disclosing the information. A disclosure can be made if it is legal, proportionate and necessary to do so.
If you are concerned about a friend or family member, you can apply for a disclosure on behalf of someone you know.
You can make a request to the police for information about a person’s previous violent offending in person at the police station or elsewhere, by telephone, by email, online or as part of a police investigation. Support agencies and services can also help you ask the police about this.
I'm worried about someone I know. How do I support them?
If you think a friend, relative, neighbour or someone else you know may be experiencing domestic abuse, listening to them and letting them talk without judging or pressuring them can be an important first step.
Try not to tell them what they should do or pressure them to leave. Instead, listen, believe what they tell you and let them know that support is available.
You can also contact the National Domestic Abuse Helpline for advice if you are worried about someone else. The helpline, run by Refuge, is free and available 24 hours a day on 0808 2000 247.
If someone is in immediate danger, call 999.
Find more information on how to support someone who is being abused.
I’m concerned about my own behaviour. Can you help me?
Yes. If you are worried about your behaviour towards a partner, ex-partner or family member, we can help you find specialist support.
You can talk to us about what is happening, and we can help put you in touch with organisations that support people who want to change abusive or harmful behaviour.